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100 days - Carrying a woman over a river
I was right in the middle of my meditation this week when my partner's scooter broke down and he interrupted me by shouting up the stairs to let me know.
We had a brief conversation and then I was free to go back to my meditation. As I settled back down I noticed my feelings (annoyance, feeling unsettled) and thoughts ('I won't get back into it now', 'this always happens', 'why can't I be undisturbed for 20 minutes a day grrrr!').
I suddenly remembered the story about the two buddhist monks who'd stopped to carry a woman over a river.
After some time, one monk spoke to the other about how their vows forbid them from touching women, and how troubled he was about this.
The second monk said 'I put her down on the other side of the river, you are still carrying her'.
It suited me to blame my partner for the interruption, and to fan the flame of these thoughts, because then I got to escape from myself, and from the difficulty of staying with my breathing.
I didn't put the interruption down straight away, but at least I was able to be more honest about it being my choice to carry it.
Things you might be curious about
When do you fan the flames of blaming thoughts/feelings? Who do you like to blame?
Suggestions for this week
When you notice this happening this week, write down a list of all the advantages to you of fanning the flames. What concrete action could you take to deal with the incident? (e.g. me asking my partner if next time he could wait until the end of my meditation session). What will help you to move on? (e.g. me realising I didn't want to be meditating that morning and wanted a 'way out')
Fiona Robyn
web: www.fionarobyn.co.uk
Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. Erica Jong
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. Oscar Levant
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