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Fiona Robyn on Giving
Sometimes I come across a poem or a song or a landscape that strikes me with such a force of beauty or sadness or truth that I can't help wanting the whole world to feel what I've felt.
I usually know exactly the right person to appreciate those lyrics, or the meaning of that stanza, and I press it upon them with the certainty that they'll immediately fall into raptures or weeping and that they'll be grateful to me for the rest of their lives.
As time goes on I'm slowly realising that they don't always fall into raptures or weeping. Their reaction usually ranges from warm to lukewarm, and sometimes I don't hear what they think at all.
So how do I receive gifts? A friend I much admire might suggest a book they think I'll love, and I might buy it and not get into it at all. Sometimes I'll go back to it months or years later - sometimes it still won't do anything for me, and occasionally I'll like it very much. Very occassionally, it'll send me into raptures or weeping.
I'm trying to ackowledge the complete lack of control I have over how my gifts will be received. The person I give to might not have the right space or energy to engage with what I've given them right now, or it might just not be their thing. I'm trying to enjoy giving for giving's sake, and leave the business of receiving to them.
Things you might be curious about
What do you expect when you give to other people? How might this affect the people you've given to? How does it affect you?
Suggestions for this week
Give three small gifts to three different people. Enjoy the feeling of giving with the full knowledge that your gifts might 'hit home' and they might not.
Fiona Robyn
web: www.fionarobyn.co.uk
In the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.
Erich Fromm
The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.
Hannah Whitall Smith
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